The other day my youngest found a paper crown laying around the house. She has seen her sisters put it on their head before. She picked it up and put it on her own head. She looks at me, lets out a joyful screech and gives me the biggest proudest smile her tiny face can handle.
What she doesn’t realize is that the crown is on upside down. Does it dampen her mood or make her any less joyful about the fact that she put the crown on by herself?
No.
When I see this play out before my mother eyes it brings such warmth to my heart. I absolutely love seeing my children take delight in things they are trying. It is how we grow and learn. Was I mad or annoyed at her for putting the crown on wrong?
Absolutly not!
I knew for her development simply placing the crown on her head was an accomplishment. I didn’t care that she did it imperfectly.
A day later with my husband I was hashing through the fears I have of joyfully living out what God is asking me to do. Fear stifles my joy when I begin worrying that I think I am doing what God is asking me to do but I really am hearing Him wrong.
The reality of this fear points to the fact I want to live my life perfectly. But who really admits that? I know I am not going to live perfectly but my feelings tell me I should. For some reason there is a seed of belief that God is going to be angry with me if I don’t get it right.
My husband looks at me and says “would you be okay with it if you live the way you believe God is asking you only to find out you are wrong knowing grace covers it?
I hesitate. It hits me square in the heart. I want to say yes, but I know if I don’t change something I will keep living like that is no.
In that moment I thought of my daughter and her crown. I am Gods child. Why do I think He is harsh in ways I am kind to my own children? Probably because we live in a broken world where we pick up broken images of God.
Just like my daughter is developing physically we all are developing spiritually. When I am doing my best seeking God, asking Him to show me the way, then doing what I believe He is asking me to do, I may “do it upside down” or make mistakes but I choose to believe He looks at me in love and delight that I am trying…learning…growing.
I think the key to living a life worth living isn’t about being perfect or never making mistakes. I believe it is trying with all our might with a joyful attitude. A demeanor radiating joy instead of seeping stress and grumps because we are always worried it’s not right.
We arn’t perfect people. Grace pours over the imperfections making us complete in Him. One day my daughter will know how to put her crown on right, until then I will enjoy her delight over having tried.
One day in Heaven, I will wear my crown, pure and unspotted. Until then, I will choose to believe God is looking down on me with His loving Father eyes and is delighted I am joyfully trying.
