I wanted to share our moving story. It’s really not our story, it is God’s story. I have seen Him in this process in such amazing ways. This story is about His glory, I hope it can shine a light on how much He loves each of us.
On July second we signed papers to sell the house we spent ten years in together. Then about an hour later we signed papers to buy a new house. A house in the country.
It was bittersweet. Saying goodbye to a house that has treated you so good, holds so many memories, and was situated in an amazing neighborhood was hard to say the least. But to say hello to this new house has felt like a dream I am still pinching myself over.
It is really no big surprise we moved to the country. Ever since we bough our house in Goodfield, Loren has been watching for houses in the country. We looked at many houses over the ten years, none felt right. The longer we were there, the more I settled into our little house in town. We built a shed, added an egress window, a new driveway, and a new roof, new flooring, etc. I told Loren I am content here. After all we are right on a field, it kind of feels like the country. I wasn’t planning on moving…unless God. (:
Last summer I felt that stirring. I knew God was saying, it is time. Time to move to the country. I was finally ready. It took alot to get me to the point of being really serious about moving. Looking and dreaming are one thing, actually moving…totally different situation. Like I said, the Goodfield house had worked so perfectly for us for ten years.
Before I was ready I did tell Loren if you find the perfect house I will move. HA! But when I reached the point of truly being ready I said, any house will do. I knew we were supposed to move and I want my girls to grow up in the country like we both did. But the problem with being ready is you get antsy. Anxious. It felt like now that I was ready, moving would never happen.
I was prepared to settle for a one bathroom small house, I just knew we were supposed to find somewhere with some acreage, even if I didn’t like the house. It was hard to surrender that, but I knew it was right.
After I was truly fine with moving God laid a thought in my mind: I can do more than you can imagine if you wait on Me.
Through it all He also laid Bible verses on my heart that I clung to. Here are the main two.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21
When you did awesome things that we did not look for,
you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence.
From of old no one has heard
or perceived by the ear,
no eye has seen a God besides you,
who acts for those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:3-4
I knew this process, this move, it was personal, it wasn’t just to move. God wanted to teach me so many things. This past year has been so hard but so amazing at the same time. I wish I had time, or words to describe it all. But I can’t, I can simply tell you the basics.
The bare basic of it all was that this whole moving was an experience with God in a big way for me. I have always struggled to really believe He loves me personally. I have always discounted my feelings or desires and typically wrote them off as selfish. It’s good to be aware, and yes we need to care for others, not just ourselves, but I have lived in an extreme version of this. Not a healthy God honoring one. God began to challenge me on these things. He began to expose areas in my heart I had worked so hard to cover up, protect, or hide.
The thing about digging deep into your heart is it is scary, painful, exhausting, but so worth it. There were many times I wanted to just give up, hide my head under a pillow and act like God never laid any of these things on my heart. It seemed scary to hope for a place in the country and it felt silly to do some of the things God was leading me to do during this time.
About the middle of April I was growing weary of the whole process. I prayed to God–I hope you are going to do something soon because I don’t know how much more I can take of this surgery on my heart. This trusting, this faith, this journey. I didn’t know how much more I could take without retreating back into what felt comfortable.
The morning of April 23 a dear friend shared a Bible verse with me as we were talking about this house journey.
But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5:10
That evening we got a text about a house for sale. The next day we went to see the house. We both knew this was the one. A little over two months later we own it.
Here is the thing though. I simply asked God to provide us a place in the country, I wasn’t holding onto any of my “specifications” anymore. But you know what? God not only provided a house in the country, He provided more than I could even think to ask.
In the back of my mind I dreamed of a house with cathedral ceilings, an open floor plan, and a master bathroom. Those were the specifications I had told Loren I needed to move to the country before God lead me-well maybe not the cathedral ceilings. But God….He provided not only ALL of that that in this house, He provided extras.
I have always drooled over amazing front porches, God not only provided an amazing front porch with our home, He provided an amazing back porch too. And on top of that I got a library card with this house. Yes, it seems a bit strange to be excited about that, but in Goodfield I would have had to spend $260 a year on a library card. This house is located in a spot that has access to free library card. That detail may seem silly, but it was deeply personal to me.
God’s time is always perfect. He reassured me and strengthened me through this whole process. His plans are always good for us, even in the struggle… eventually we will see His beauty, even if it takes awhile to see through the tears.
As I type this, I second guess even posting it because there are so many details and personal things I can’t even begin to spell out here. I know I need to post it, so I want to make something really clear.
God loves you personally. I know it for a fact.
If I were to have read a blog post like this about 2 years ago, I most likely would have left feeling like–well good for you, God loves you more than me, I am the exception. I had yet to experience Him in an incredibly, deeply personal way like this. As I look back on this journey, as I look back on my insecurities, I can say one thing with certainty: God has each one of us in a process, on a journey. He wants us to know the depths of His love. He wants us to believe we are truly His delight and He cares uniquely and individually for us. That journey is not easy. It is scary. Honestly there were times, I wanted to retreat. I worried that if the way He was leading never went anywhere it would feel like proof He didn’t love me. But He gently kept pushing me along in faith and trust.
So I want to leave you with a thought, do you believe God loves you personally and uniquely? That He delights in you?
Yes, YOU.
There are so many things I am sure that could be torn apart on this bog post because again, there are so many holes when only the bare bones are said. So don’t get hung up in my journey, instead look at yours. Seek God diligently. Ask Him to show you Himself in a real and personal way. He will be delighted to show you. Then be ready for a journey. Be ready to hang in there in deep faith. Be prepared to fight through crippling fears. But most of all be prepared to see just how much God loves you.
This moving journey, it has been deeply personal. While God freely gave me something I never even dreamed to ask for, it isn’t about the house. Going through this experience has been so much bigger. While I am so grateful for this house and hope to be here for along time, I know now from experience–not just biblical knowledge– God loves me and is working out my best. I know He is enough in a true way now.
As I look back on our Goodfield house, this moving process has illuminated even more of God’s workings. I see so many of His finger prints all over that house too. He provided that house for us in ways I couldn’t never have imagined to ask for. He worked it out for us in ways I didn’t even know I needed. That house was provided to us by God when I was so worn down and broken I could barely even pray. Yet He saw me, He saw my needs and provided for them without me knowing what to ask for. He loved me in a personal way even before I could see it.
Then when the time came that He knew our family needed something different, He again provided in ways I wouldn’t have even thought to pray for. Looking back on how He provided that Goodfield house, I know, even when I can’t see it, He is loving me personally.
He is loving you personally too. If you don’t see it, will you be brave enough to ask God to open your eyes to it? Will you be patient enough to wait however long it takes to see?
