I have been wrestling with homeschooling lately. Nothing really changed circumstantially. It just boils down to the fact that I want to write more and have more time alone. I can sift through all the reasons it makes senes for me to stop homeschooling. I know deep down I am not released from this calling, but I sure can build a pretty logical case convincing me I am.
One particular day as I was daydreaming about long days alone filling my time with a dreamland of words and quiet calm, the Lord really laid on my heart: Yeah, so when writing gets hard and less dreamy are you going to want to quit that too for something more fun? I was struck by the thought that just because something gets hard doesn’t mean we should quit. Quitting isn’t always the answer when the calling becomes hard or ceases to be all fun. Those aren’t signs that you are failing, or it’s bad. It’s just hard.
Sheesh. I didn’t really want to hear that.
Because one day writing will become less dreamy. Just like everything else in life. There is this honeymoon period where its all dreamy eyes and roses, then real life smacks you in the face and you are left wondering if you really heard right in the first place. When the going gets hard I can doubt: maybe the call to homeschool wasn’t really as strong as I thought. Maybe all this work is for nothing. Maybe, maybe maybe.
Instead of dwelling too long on the conviction deep in my heart, I conveniently filed it into the back of my mind and went on my merry way.
Until the Sunday morning I was sitting in church and the minister finished up by talking about commitment. He said something that spoke directly to my heart. Something along the lines of are you committed even when it gets messy and hard? Do you need this message of commitment? I wanted to raise my hand and give an emphatic yes.
Yes, I do need that reminder because I like to give into easy…sparkly.
I was reminded of something God had laid on my heart over a year ago when I wanted to run from something. Go ahead and run, but wherever you go hard will find you there too.
I guess this message of commitment to God’s calling is something I need to be reminded of frequently. Maybe it’s a reminder you need too? The things we are called to are not going to be easy or fun all the time. Hard will be mingled in, that doesn’t mean we should quit in pursuit of something better, something new. My friend once told me: just because it is easy doesn’t mean it is good and just because it is good doesn’t mean it is easy.
When things get hard I find it is easy for me to look at all the what ifs. The what ifs can get me to see my lack. My lack makes me want to give up. But if God calls us to something, it is not us that completes it, it is Him.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” -Philippians 1:6
Are you committed to the calling God is gently leading you in? Keep going even when it is hard, even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it isn’t fun.
And as you tell yourself that, remember, I am right there telling myself too.
