We all know comparison is not good. We have heard phrases like “comparison is the thief of joy”. We also know about the Bible verse that warns us about comparison.
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Corinthians 10:12
We know it is wrong to compare our weakness with other people strengths. We know it is not ok to wish for someone else’s circumstances. That doesn’t mean it is easy to not do, we just know we shouldn’t. We know we shouldn’t compare our kids, or our spouse with someone else’s. But yet, I think there is a comparison that we tend to think is ok. Have you ever told your kids- “you should eat your food, there are people who don’t have food! Be thankful for your toys, there are kids who don’t have toys!” As if somehow, we hope that this huge reality will settle on their hearts and instantly make them truly grateful for all they have.
I have tried that on my kids. It doesn’t work.
Have you ever told yourself something similar? You are walking through something rough. You are fully aware others have it way worse so you tell yourself: “you shouldn’t be complaining because others have it way worse than you.” Does that ever really comfort you and spur you on to change?
I know for me it doesn’t. Infact most of the time it makes me feel guilty and shameful. That in itself can send me down an unhealthy rabbit trail.
I know I should be more thankful for my kids on the days they are driving me crazy. I tell myself there are people over in other countries who can’t even go to church without worrying they will get hurt. People who get torn away from their families because of civil wars. I know it is true, and way worse than my kids driving me up the wall. Yet, it does little to change me. Guilty feelings flow from this mentality. I ruminate on how awful I am instead of addressing the heart of the matter. All the while, I easily label this comparison as good.
I don’t think the Bible is talking about only avoiding comparing our woes with someones joy. I think it is a warning for all comparison here on earth. That includes comparing our good lot with someone else’s “bad” lot.
So is all comparing bad? Yes, I think all physical comparing is far from wise. However, I think there is a healthy comparison. 1 Corinthians 2:12-13 says this:
“Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God. Which things also we speak, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.”
Comparing things in this world wont ever get us anywhere. But what about comparing spiritual things? When I am in a tough spot where I find it hard to be thankful for my kids, instead of comparing my situation to a situation overseas (that I am not facing), what if I compared my heart to the heart of God? What if I dug deep in the painful dark corners and cleaned out the junk. What if I dove into what was driving the overflow of unhealthy stuff? What if I asked, what is God’s heart in this situation, why is my heart not aligning with it? What if I asked God to open my eyes to any hidden sinfulness in my heart. What if I exposed it and brought it to light. To ask Him to help me think with the mind of Christ (which we have been given–vs. 16 of 1 Corinthians 2) and stop thinking with what makes sense to my human mind. Instead of trying to get my kids to be grateful for what they have by comparing their lot to a child in Haiti, I need to roll up my sleeves and get to their heart.
Getting to the heart of our sinful/selfishness is a hard process. It take work. It is not easy, but it is good. Aligning our hearts to Christ’s is what will set us free. Comparing our heart with the heart of God will convict us to change in healthy Biblical ways, not out of guilt and shame.
I don’t think it is healthy or wise to compare anything in this world, I do think it is healthy and wise to compare my spiritual life to the Bible. We will never be perfect, but we are growing. When we let God’s light shine into our hearts and let the Holy Spirit teach us and guide us, we will grow in healthy ways. Comparing things here on this earth will lead us to bondage, comparing spiritual things will lead us to freedom.
