“Every man, whatsoever his condition, desires to be happy.” –Augustine
In a recent blog post, I shared how back in my high school days I loved reading fiction. I also shared how I read it through the wrong lens, and from that wrong lens my expectations were skewed when I began my marriage. I stayed away from fiction for years because I needed to get a right perspective.
Reading fiction was not the only reason I had a wrong lens. Things rarely happen in a vacuum. More commonly, there are multiple contributors to the views we see though.
God has really been working on how I see over the last decade. As I jump back into reading (and now writing) fiction, the thought of happily ever after has been bumping around in my mind.
I love looking on Goodreads at other readers reviews. On a book I just finished, a reviewer commented: all the main characters of course had a happy ending….
My mind immediately said “no they didn’t!” Yes, at the very end of the book ONE character married the person she wanted. The other character still had a husband, daughter, and son who were in the grave. Three other characters still had past pain from NOT getting their happily ever afters. But, they did have peace. The had peace in their life today. Circumstantially, only one character had their happily ever after. Yet, inwardly they all did because they found peace. So maybe in a sense, she was right…they had a happily ever after because they had peace.
As I began writing my novel, I really was on a quest for what happiness was. In Christian circles it can get a bad rap. We are to be joyful, not happy. Yet, the more I study it, Biblically and experientially, I don’t think that is the case. I think the problem is not that happiness is wrong, it’s the methods we go about in pursuing it.
As I pondered fiction’s “happy endings” and as I write fiction, from my view point, I want to share some of my thoughts on happily ever after. How can we view happiness and “ever after” through a healthy lens as we read fiction?
The reality is we do not live happily ever after….in this life. Life will always hand us trials and heartaches. We won’t escape it until heaven….where guess what? In heaven, we will live happily ever after! When a book ends and we think, oh they lived happily ever after, we forget the fact that the entire book was most likely fraught with trials and conflict. The characters didn’t arrive at the ending by riding on rainbows and unicorns.
No, they arrived at happily ever after scratching and clawing, and fighting heartbreak and heartache. Sounds similar to real life right? As believers, we will arrive one day at happily ever after when we meet Jesus face to face. Instead of rolling our eyes at the end of books saying…of course happily ever after happened…instead we can look forward to the day when we too will arrive at our happily ever after in heaven.
A second thought on happily ever after. The more I wade through this happiness pursuit, the more I believe God gives us things in this life that He wants us to delight in. Our life, like a fiction book, winds through rough and hard patches, but along the way, I believe God gives good gifts. The end of a fiction book can be one of those gifts. Instead of setting aside the book and dreaming our life would be a happily ever after today because of their ending, we can instead see the end as a gift. If their story continued, they would face more bumps and conflicts along the way. The book must end somewhere, instead of seeing it as a complete end we can view it as a gift along their continued winding journey.
As humans, we crave happily ever afters. Because we are designed for them…just not yet. One day our true Prince will be there to tell us, well done, welcome to the joy of the Lord. This is our happily ever after. Until then we will wind on the path experiencing both joy and sorrow.
We as people want to be happy and we want a happily ever after. The good news is we can be happy today, and we will get a happily ever after when we leave this broken life. Until then, we can learn and grow in what true happiness looks like amidst the broken life.
Tricia Goyer is releasing a book on happiness called Heart Happy in April. I am currently reading it and it is so good. You can join her launch team and start reading it today as well!
I am also reading through Randy Alcorn’s book on Happiness. It is a massive book that really dives into the topic in great detail.
Randy’s book Safely Home is also a great fiction read that orbits around the theme of happiness.
Happiness doesn’t mean all smiles and no pain. Far from it. It doesn’t mean you have it all figured out and are perfect. I think happiness comes from a place that accepts the life we each have been given from a place of surrender and reliance on God. It comes from being at peace with our lives and seeing the beauty shining stronger than our burdens. Being happy isn’t selfish. I asked my father-in-law once about happiness. One thing he said has always stuck in my mind: “being around a happy person is like a breath of fresh air.”
If thats true and what Augustine also said is true, why not learn how to live in true happiness?
I would love to hear what are your thoughts on happiness are. What have your experiences been? Leave them in the comments below.
I couldn’t agree more on the fact that happiness doesn’t mean every day goes just how we like it. It is how we choose to handle the day that becomes the day that the Lord has given us. Sure, there are times when my choices allow me to have more pain than if I would have made a better choice. Choosing to rely on the forgiveness and redemption that Jesus offers allows me to take that choice and make a better one the next day. A submission to our Father allows me to bask in His love and be at peace with Him, through the good days and the not so good. It is not on my perfection and getting it right every day that defines my worth. I’ve had to learn, and am still learning more and more, on letting go and letting God control the days I have with my husband, children, work, friends, and on and on. I have true happiness and joy when my heart keeps turning towards my Father who loves, cares deeply, and forgives me for all past and future sins. He truly wants the best for me as His child, even in the midst of suffering, pain, and also the joys! In that is my hope, and in that is my true happiness.
YES! You said this so perfectly. Thank you for sharing <3