Have you ever found yourself “too busy” to spend time with family and friends? Is your day filled with constant fires to put out, mile-long to-do lists, and endless tasks that only you can accomplish? As a mom, do you struggle with trying to “do it all”? If so, you are not alone. As a mom of four (with two on the way), I know I struggle with each of these things — sometimes on a daily basis.
In Exodus 18, we read about a visit from Moses’s father-in-law, Jethro. During his stay, he was able to observe Moses going about his daily life and lovingly offer advice that Moses probably didn’t realize he needed! This advice applies to us moms as well! If you haven’t read through the text, take a moment to do so now.
The main points that resonate with me as I read this chapter are:
- No matter how busy we are, it’s important to make time for relationships.
- Sometimes we don’t see how deeply buried we are until someone lovingly points it out to us.
- Moses couldn’t do it all, and neither can we!
- It’s critical that we listen to wise counsel from those who love us.
Let’s explore each of these points in the context of the verses we read.
Make Time for Relationships
In verses 1 – 12, we read that Jethro heard of all that God had done for Moses and the children of Israel. He decided to visit Moses in the wilderness, bringing Zipporah and Moses’ two sons along with him. They had a wonderful visit and talked about all the mighty ways that the Lord had delivered His people out of Egypt. I imagine them visiting late into the night, enjoying each other’s company, eating bread together, and praising God for all the great things He had done.
It can be so refreshing to visit with family and friends! We, too, can sit together, enjoying each other’s company and talking about the great things that God has done in our lives! We can eat bread together and encourage each other in our struggles.
But, for some of us, why is it so hard to make friends and family a priority in our lives? We hit the ground running every morning, our minds spinning with all the things we “have” to accomplish that day. We tell ourselves that as soon as we get caught up, we will have that coffee date with a faithful friend. When things slow down, we will visit our elderly grandparents at the nursing home. After this busy season, we will call our out-of-state family members to catch up.
Days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. I am convicted to make family and friends more of a priority in my life!
Am I Buried in Burdens?
In verses 13 – 16, Jethro witnesses first-hand a typical day in Moses’ life. On this day, Moses was bombarded by the needs of the people from morning until night. Jethro was in shock and disbelief.
“…Why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?” (vs 14)
Moses replied:
“Because the people come unto me to inquire of God: when they have a matter, they come unto me; and I judge between one and another, and I do make them know the statutes of God, and his laws.” (vs 15)
This scenario sounds hopeless and exhausting. I imagine Moses seated before an endless line of people. As the hours pass by, no doubt the people in line became irritable and impatient. As Moses listened to case after case of petty arguments and complaints, I’m sure he felt burdened, discouraged, and weary. As the day wore on, he probably realized that, as hard as he tried, he could never meet everyone’s needs, solve everyone’s problems, and make everything right again, leading to feelings of guilt and defeat.
You and I can get buried in our burdens also! Maybe we don’t have a long line of people stretched out before us, but we can have a long line of tasks. Tasks that stretch from morning until evening. Some tasks are things we just need to do to keep things running smoothly. Others could be unreasonable burdens we place on ourselves or lofty expectations that we just can’t meet in a day.
Or maybe we do have a long line of people in front of us every day. Moms of little ones, there may be a line of three tiny faces before you, and they stay in that “line” all day, constantly needing our attention and care. Or maybe the children are older and come to you with constant tattling, whining, or petty arguments to solve. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we still end up feeling defeated, knowing we can’t possibly meet everyone’s needs. Then, as we wearily fall into bed at the end of the night, we realize that those little people will be demanding our attention again tomorrow!
Moses was so entrenched in his role as problem-solver, that he could not see how deeply he was buried in burdens. Jethro was caring enough to point out that this was not working! Sometimes we need someone to observe us in our “rat race” and lovingly point out when we are sinking in the mire.
We Can’t Do It All!
In verses 17 and 18, Jethro lovingly confronts Moses. To paraphrase, he says, “ Moses, this is not good. You will burn out! And this is not good for the people! This is too much for you to try to handle all on your own.”
These words were probably hard for Moses to accept, but so necessary. As a mom, these are probably the hardest words for me to swallow as well. I can’t do it all. I. Can’t. Do. It. All. I try really hard to do it all, but I can’t. And that “trying” brings anger, frustration, defeat, guilt, and hopelessness when I fail. Even when I find myself struggling to keep my head above water, I stubbornly refuse to ask for help.
So, when a spouse, parent, friend, or the Good Holy Spirit comes to us and says, “Look at you, all stressed out. You are trying to do it all on your own…” Let’s humble ourselves, swallow our pride, and take an honest look within.
Listen to Wise Counsel
In verses 19 – 27, Jethro wisely offered Moses a solution to his problem. In a nutshell, he told him to delegate! Appoint leaders of thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens. They can still bring the larger matters to Moses, but let them solve the smaller matters themselves. And Moses listened to this counsel, took it to heart, and applied it.
Just like Moses, we need to listen to wise counsel! And we can take steps to ensure that we will not get burnt out in the daily grind of motherhood. Here are a few that I have had to implement over the years:
- Delegate chores to your children, especially when they are young and think it’s fun! It’s messy and sometimes more work than it’s worth at first. But soon, they will be actually helping!!
- Teach your children how to settle “small matters” on their own! Listening to things like, “I had it first! He hit me! She took my toy!” all day long is exhausting. Teaching our children how to work out conflicts on their own will not only relieve some of the stress and chaos in the home, but will help them develop conflict- resolution skills that will follow them into adulthood.
- Learn to prioritize and let the rest go, either for another day, or forever. And be honest. Do you “have” to wash your walls before that new baby comes?? Do you “have” to make your own homemade bread? Do you “have” to make pinterest-worthy birthday cakes or will a boughten one do?
- Ask for help! There are seasons in our life when we just have to ask for help. Period.
If we, like Moses find ourselves buried in our burdens, let’s listen to listen to the wise counsel of those around us, allow the Holy Spirit to convict us individually, and be humble enough to make the necessary changes. Moses found freedom in letting go, and we can too!
Author:
Rebecca Bauman is a happily-married, stay at home mom to four beautiful daughters. Before entering motherhood, she worked as a registered nurse. Although she hopes to pursue nursing again in the future, she feels blessed to be able to enjoy this time with her girls. She loves a good cup of coffee, (well, LOTS of coffee), spending time with friends and family, laughing, and fresh air. For now, in between “mommy moments,” she hopes to develop her writing in order to bless and encourage other women, particularly in the areas of health, fitness, and well-being.
